Psychologist Rebecca Ray On Dealing With Unworthiness, Fear, and Limiting Beliefs (Episode #39)
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Rebecca Ray (@drrebeccaray on IG) is a clinical psychologist, author, and speaker. In this episode we talk about some of the more common issues she sees as a psychologist, including low self-worth, crippling fear, and the underlying limiting beliefs at the root of these cognitive distortions. I also have a mini-therapy session with her about the origins of my perfectionism. This was an incredibly fun and enlightening conversation!
Topics & questions covered
Rebecca’s background (4:30)
The two most common issues Rebecca sees as a psychologist (13:00)
How Rebecca deals with patients who have low self-worth (18:00)
Rebecca psychoanalyzes me (20:00)
How Rebecca recommends we deal with issues of fear and unworthiness (28:30)
The science behind why journaling and therapy work (39:45)
The psychological importance of acceptance (43:45)
Strategies for practicing acceptance (54:00)
Notable quotes from Rebecca Ray
“Through writing, you discover things that are born out of your unconscious. What writing does is slow down our thoughts—particularly handwriting.”
“We often don’t even know what we’re thinking, let alone the beliefs behind our what we’re thinking.”
“A belief is just a thought that you’ve said to yourself over and over again so many times that it’s become a story you believe.”
“Accept your present moment experience for what it is. This doesn’t mean you have to like it or want it or even approve of it. It just means that you’re not going to spend your energy struggling against it. It’s a decision to consciously conserve your energy.”
“Acceptance is doing what’s consistent with your values and accepting what shows up in the process because it’s important to you.”
“In order to live by our values or do anything of importance, we have to accept that discomfort is part of the process. We can’t live bravely without discomfort.”
“The reason breathing exercises are important is because they calm the fear center in our brain.”
“The act of acknowledging and labeling negative emotions helps us to detach from them. Simply saying, “I feel scared right now,” helps to separate the emotion from who we are and makes it easier to manage.”
Selected links & resources
Rebecca’s website
Rebecca’s course Radical Courage
Her books:
All social media: @drrebeccaray
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Ruben Chavez is a writer, personal development educator, and host of The Think Grow Podcast. He has created a community of over 3 million readers across his collective platforms, including his popular Instagram page ThinkGrowProsper. Along with this blog, these platforms are his way of inspiring and connecting with thoughtful, creative, and ambitious people just like you.