I have a tendency to overcomplicate things. When it comes to personal development, my rational brain loves to organize information into rules and principles.
The problem with this kind of thinking is that it can lead to paralysis by analysis. I start thinking of all the strategies and principles I’ve learned over the years and which one to apply to the situation, leading to confusion and overwhelm.
But there’s a simpler, more intuitive approach for achieving the outcomes you want. It’s something that has helped me to apply my knowledge in a much more natural way.
First, let’s look at the three primary components of personal development:
1. The outcome you want (goals)
2. The actions you take (behavior)
3. The person you are (identity)
Most people think goals are the main drivers of success, but they’re not. Goals are useful for giving us direction but, as James Clear has noted, both successful and unsuccessful people have the same goals.
So what actually drives success?
It’s the last two things on that list: The actions you take and the kind of person you are.
How do we take the right actions and be the kind of person that produces the outcomes we desire? By modeling.
Think about how you learned to get what you want as a kid. You didn’t read books or memorize rules on how to act. You learned how to behave by watching others.
You’ve been watching others act your whole life. That knowledge is still inside you but sometimes it’s difficult to retrieve because you’re overthinking or overanalyzing.
Try this instead:
1. Think of someone who has achieved your desired outcome or solved the problem you’re trying to solve. This can be a person you know personally or a public figure. (You can also think of the wisest version of yourself if you find that more useful.)
2. Ask yourself, “What would this person do in my situation?” or “How would this person approach the problem?” Be open to receiving an answer (Important: It may not necessarily be the answer you want to hear!)
3. Break down that action into the smallest step that you will actually take and…DO IT.
That’s basically it. It may sound simple but here’s why it works:
Learning is often more about remembering than it is about acquiring new information. Usually, we already know what we need to do. We just need to do it.
When you imagine someone who has already achieved the outcome you want and then ask yourself what they would do in your situation, you activate that latent knowledge within you.
At a basic level…
We know what we need to do to get in shape.
We know what we need to do to make more money.
We know what we need to do to improve our relationships.
The thing is, the actions required are usually not sexy. They are boring and sometimes uncomfortable. They are the fundamentals.
To get in shape, we need to exercise, eat better, etc.
To make more money, we need to work on our craft, make more sales, etc.
To improve our relationships we need to have difficult conversations, be more vulnerable, etc
Yes, there are more details to each of these. But you figure out the details as you go along. Eighty percent of the game is just nailing the fundamentals.
Remember, people who have achieved extraordinary things do the obvious thing for an inordinate period of time.
You got this.
P.S. If you feel stuck on a goal or problem and need help getting clarity and direction, I might be able to help. You can book a FREE 30-minute exploratory call with me here to see if we’re a good fit.