Have you ever had the feeling there’s something holding you back, but you can’t quite put your finger on it?
Maybe you want to start a business, have great relationships, read more books, exercise regularly...but you just don’t take the necessary action. You stay stuck.
I’ve been there. I’ve lived there.
Over the years, I’ve searched for answers as to why this happens. What I’ve learned might surprise you.
Long story short...
It turns out that human beings have a finely developed and unique ability to make up stories. Stories about ourselves, stories about our circumstances, stories about the world. We tell ourselves stories about basically everything in our lives.
Sometimes, these stories help us—like when we find meaning in our struggles or a greater purpose in our lives.
But sometimes, these stories hurt us—like when we constantly replay negative events in our minds or doubt our abilities.
Unlike every other species in the animal kingdom, we have the ability to not only make up elaborate stories for our lives, but also to genuinely believe them—regardless if they are true or not.
According to some of the brightest scientific minds, this unique ability of ours is one of the main reasons we’ve been able to dominate this planet.
So how is this important to living the life you want to live?
Because your stories are the beliefs you have about your life and the lens through which you see the world. Therefore, the quality of your stories determines the quality of your life.
Negative stories I used to tell myself
The tricky part of this whole thing is that we are often completely unaware of the limiting stories we tell ourselves. They become invisible restraints that hold us back from living the life we truly want to live.
In the past, I’ve told myself my fair share of limiting stories that have held me back from achieving my fullest potential. Here are a few of them...
“I can’t start a business because I don’t have enough money.”
“There’s nothing I can do to change my situation.”
“I’m alone because I’m not attractive enough.”
“I’ve always been a slow learner.”
Looking back, these statements seem ridiculous now. It's almost as if they belonged to someone else. That’s because I’ve learned to create new stories for myself that empower me rather than limit me.
Who would you be without your limiting stories?
How would your behavior change?
What kind of action would you take?
How would your life be different?
Would you start that business you’ve always wanted to start?
Would you take inspired action to make a change in your life?
Would you feel more confident in your romantic life because you knew what you brought to the table?
Would you recognize your unique talents and abilities and share them with the world?
Better Stories = A Better Life
When I learned how to tell myself better stories, my entire life changed.
I took inspired action and built a business I love.
I became more resourceful and saw opportunities I didn’t see before.
I let go of my insecurities and confidently pursued the woman of my dreams (who is now my fiance, Vanessa).
I questioned my perceived weaknesses and turned them into strengths.
I created financial abundance in my life by releasing my limiting stories about money and debt.
Why am I sharing these things?
I don’t always get personal, but when I do, it’s for good reason.
1. To help break down limiting beliefs
One of the most powerful ways to break down limiting beliefs is by hearing how other people overcame a situation similar to ours.
This proof that “it can be done” helps build new reference points for us that support new beliefs.
The reason I talk about my personal life at all is to connect with people who relate to my story and show them that change is possible. If I can do it, so can you.
2. To remind you that I’m a real person
Social media often encourages us to compare our lives to the lives of strangers on the Internet. That’s a risky little game.
In a world of highlight reels, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone has a better life than you. You see people running perfect businesses, going on amazing vacations, and just generally being carefree.
The idea that everyone else has it easier than you or that your problems are unique is laughable. These are simply stories that keep feeling inadequate. The truth is, there’s no possible way you can accurately compare yourself to another human being.
Beyond that, it’s just nice to hear the behind-the-scenes stuff sometimes.
3. I want to encourage you to share something real.
Share it in the comments below. Share it on your own page. Share it with a friend. Just share it. Be vulnerable. In the words of author Brene Brown:
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
To your success,
Ruben