One of the most important lessons I’ve every learned is this:
Life wants to be experienced in its entirety—the good, the bad, the great, the ugly.
When we avoid, ignore, or otherwise cut ourselves off from uncomfortable or difficult experiences, they don’t go away. Instead, they go underground where they fester in darkness, waiting to return in an uglier form later on…
The solution?
Acceptance and integration.
Hi First name / friend,
The other day I asked part of my audience what they struggle with the most. Here were some of their answers:
Not standing up for myself and speaking my truth.
Constantly trying to please others while inconveniencing myself.
Not doing meaningful or exciting work.
Getting distracted and not sticking with my goals.
Worrying too much about the future.
Not being able to let go of negative thoughts and emotions.
Not having quality relationships.
Can you relate to any of these?
Here’s something that might surprise you…
These are only surface-level problems. They don’t get to the heart of the matter.
If you dig a little deeper, you’ll find that the common theme among all these challenges is…
FEAR…
Have you ever experienced this cycle?
You find something that improves your life—a habit, a mindset, a diet, anything.
You get on a good path and start building some momentum.
Weeks or months later you realize you are no longer doing the thing that helped you and find yourself back at square one, trying to solve the same problem as before.
You beat yourself up, become depressed, and experience other negative emotions.
Eventually, you discover a new thing that you think will improve your life.
…and the cycle repeats itself…
This was me for years.
For a very long time, I was frustrated that I kept falling into the same self-defeating patterns of behavior over and over again…
Unconsciously sabotaging my own success.
Experiencing random bouts of intense negative emotions.
Harshly judging anyone doing better than me.
Feeling stuck and unmotivated.
When I was younger and just starting out, traditional self-help books often helped me get back on track…
But honestly, as I've gotten older, I've found them less and less useful.
One reason is because our lives become more complicated as we age so we need more specific guidance rather than generic advice.
The other reason is that the majority of personal development books use surface-level strategies to deal with deep problems. This fails to address the root cause of many issues.
Here's the truth: Personal development is NOT about productivity hacks, morning routines, or even positive thinking.
Real personal development is about confronting the aspects of yourself that you find unacceptable and integrating them into your identity in a constructive way.
For example:
Before you can develop self-confidence, you must face the aspects of your personality that you usually try to hide from others.
Before you can heal your relationships, you must recognize your own unhealed emotional wounds.
Before you can create wealth, you must contend with the part of yourself that resents rich people.
Before you can create the life of your dreams, you must learn the reasons you keep sabotaging your own success.
Before you can genuinely accept ALL parts of yourself, you must get to know those parts intimately—especially the parts you don't want to admit to.
This process is called 'shadow integration' and it's how genuine, lasting change actually happens.
As the great psychoanalyst Carl Jung said, “We cannot change anything until we accept it.”
Put another way, if you don't confront the hidden, undeveloped parts of yourself, you will continue to repeat the same destructive patterns.
And as long as you leave these parts of yourself unaddressed, no amount of self-help strategies or tactics will have any real lasting effect.
I'm in the process of putting together a program to help guide you through this process.
It's the best, most valuable thing I've ever created. It's the mother of all personal development courses.
Honestly, I think it will change the personal development game.
At the very least, it will change the way you see the world.
It will change the way you see yourself.
It will change the way you see others.
And when you see differently, you behave differently.
This course is the REAL work of personal development.
Honestly, it's the only kind of work that has helped me become the truest version of myself since entering my 30s.
Whenever I've taken shadow work seriously, it has helped me:
Cultivate better relationships.
Be emotionally and mentally resilient.
Pursue my goals with confidence.
Get what I want more often.
This course is for you if you:
Have been on the path of personal development for years and still feel stuck
Want to understand yourself on a much deeper level
Keep encountering the same obstacles over and over again
Have trouble controlling your emotions
Are crippled by fear
Feel like you're not living up to your potential
Sense there's a deeper aspect to personal development you're missing
If this sounds like you, sign up here to be notified when I release this course. (I'll be offering early bird discounts.)
Or, if you just can't wait for the course and would rather have me coach you through the process of integrating your shadow 1-on-1, you can schedule a free Clarity Call here to see if we're a good fit for each other.
