Many people believe that negative thoughts are something to be avoided at all costs.
I wholeheartedly disagree. Not only is this idea impractical and stressful, I’ve found that it’s simply not true.
We don't need to completely rid ourselves of negative thoughts, we just have to learn how to use them to our advantage.
I want to share with you a "mindset tool" that has helped me use negative thinking for a positive purpose/outcome.
It’s a psychological strategy that has its roots in ancient Stoic philosophy and is both easy to use and quite helpful.
To be clear, when I use the phrase "negative thinking" here, I am NOT suggesting you dwell on or wallow in disempowering, gloomy thoughts.
In fact, the primary purpose of this strategy is to empower you and make you more joyful and appreciative of what you already have.
The concept I'm referring to is the practice of recognizing, in a given situation, that things could be worse and acknowledging that everything we experience is temporary, both our joys and our pain.
This may sound counterintutive at first (especially if you've studied LOA), but think of it this way:
When you think about the possibility of losing the things you hold dear—or even things you take for granted—it can actually make you more appreciative of them.
So how do you actually apply this to your life?
Very simply: Occasionally take a few moments to contemplate or ponder the idea that things could be worse.
This mental strategy can help you under two very distinct circumstances:
1. When you are experiencing difficult times and are having trouble finding things to be grateful for.
2. When you are experiencing good times but find yourself never being satisfied with what you have.
In A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy, the author explains this principle clearly:
"Most of us spend our idle moments thinking about the things we want but don't have. We would be much better off if we spent this time thinking of all the things we have and how much we would miss them if they were not ours.
Along these lines, we should think about how we would feel if we lost our material possessions, including our house, car, clothing, pets and bank balance. How we would feel if we lost our abilities, including our ability to speak, hear, walk, breath and swallow. And how we would feel if we lost our freedom."
The act of juxtaposing an undesirable possibility with our current circumstance helps us amplify our gratitude for our current situation. Even if our current situation is challenging, it could still be worse.
For example, when I was working a job I didn't like, I occasionally made it a point to reflect on the possibility that I could have no job and no money, which helped me appreciate my job more.
Even though I'm now doing work I love, I still have days when I get frustrated or annoyed with certain aspects of what I do. But I make sure to remind myself that I could be working at a job I hate.
Real Life Examples
Real life examples of this principle in action are quite common. Take people who have had a near death experience, such as survivors of natural disasters or automobile accidents.
These people commonly tell the story of how they were “sleepwalking through life” before but after experiencing the very real possibility of losing their life, they became much more grateful for the little things and have a new lease on life, etc.
The beauty of this is that we don’t have to have a near death experience to benefit from it. We can put this into practice whenever we want. It’s a mental exercise that can be done anywhere, anytime to help you amplify your gratitude and enhance your appreciation for what you have.
PRO TIP: Don't dwell on these thoughts, think of it as a "mental glance."
"Psychological Insurance"
There is also another benefit to this practice: To lessen the negative psychological impact that stressful or difficult events can have on us.
It is practical to prepare for the worst case scenario, mentally and otherwise.
No one would say you are being a negative person for purchasing insurance; you are simply acknowledging that there is a possibility of loss and are taking measures to mitigate or lessen the impact of that loss.
I like to think of this strategy as a kind of "psychological insurance."
For example, I periodically remind myself that my parents will someday die. They are perfectly healthy right now, so this may sound morbid or negative but it's not. It is simply a fact of life.
Of course, mentally preparing for this and rehearsing this outcome won't prevent my deep grief when it happens. But the idea is that it will lessen the shock factor and psychological anguish and help me to more deeply appreciate the current time we have together. It's helped me to not take them for granted, ever.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Being a positive person doesn't mean that you never have negative thoughts. It just means you don't let those thoughts run your life.
Finally, it might be helpful to metaphorically think of negative thoughts as a heavy weight, similar to something you'd find in a gym. This weight can be used destructively. For instance, it can be thrown at you to knock you off balance or hurled through a window to shatter it. But it can also be used constructively. You can use it to become stronger by lifting it in a controlled and deliberate way.